Caught in the soggy embrace of the Uniting Church

From The Australian... couldn't have put it better myself (or could I? Hmmmm!)

Caught in the soggy embrace of the Uniting Church

October 27, 2005

IT is called the kumbaya effect, the frightening phenomenon when a religious service starts to look like an Australian Democrats branch meeting. And it is happening to the Uniting Church, which has anew liturgical handbook that puts the k intokumbaya.

If this volume were any wetter it would need to be printed with waterproof ink. As it is, the pages emit an aroma of brown rice and patchouli oil.

Anybody interested in old-time religion - the ancient language of the King James Bible, details of damnation, that sort of thing - will be disappointed in the Uniting Church effort. Instead of divine wrath and resignation to the rule of an inscrutable deity, there is caring, sharing and empathy by the acre.

Regretful the family dog died? The Uniting Church has a prayer just for you. Want to get the bathroom blessed? Just turn to page 514.

There are also words of comfort for people unsettled by industrial action.

Perhaps because the church now appears to be the Democrats at prayer, there are inevitable calls for - you guessed it - social justice and world peace.

And ensuring there is a service for all seasons, there is also one for people getting divorced. When and where to hold it, and who to invite, should give the unhappy couple all sorts of extra issues to argue about.

Perhaps to avoid a demarcation dispute with the Family Court, there is a note reminding clergy that it "is not intended to enact the ending of a marriage".

Not only is the church hip to the issues of the hour, it uses language and examples familiar to all Australians, at least those who listen to a lot of Radio National.

Like the prayer that hopes God will guide "people in positions of power in government and business" "so all may live in peace and justice". The author obviously has not listened to question time lately or entirely got their head around capitalism.

And for congregants who have trouble with abstract ideas there are some spectacular, simplistic examples of spiritual need. Such as: "O God, we gather at your waters, as a hot and bothered crowd gathers at the beach on a sweltering, summer day." And maintaining the metaphor: "O God, we drink at your fountain, as a parched dog laps at the fresh, running water of a bush creek."

Thanks are also offered for budgerigars, bananas and that staple of the Protestant tradition, the mango.

All of this is fine for those who like local colour in their religion and want a prayer for the tool shed. But it is not all happy, clappy religion. The long list of topics for intercessory prayer includes "those who work for the preservation of natural resources and the environment", not to mention transgendered persons as well as "those who are addicted to drugs" and are "involved in vice and organised crime". There is also a suggestion for prayers for people who are probably beyond help, "all who work in the media and public communications".

Cynics may say this sort of religious expression is custom created to make hippies happy. But it seems this sort of thing has been around for quite a while.

In her recent book on why John Howard is very bad, God Under Howard, Marion Maddox says in the 1950s, when the Prime Minister was a Methodist, one of the predecessors of the Uniting Church, there was a lot of what is now called social justice spouted. Of course, it was nothing like now, when congregations are united in niceness.

But the Uniting Church can still do more if it really wants to be relevant. Where are the prayers for people whose investment property has declined in value? And statements of comfort for parishioners whose grandchildren just missed out on the HSC mark to make it into medicine? Nor does the church apologise anywhere near enough for the way Australian consumerism, code for people buying big houses, causes world poverty.

It is time the church stopped mucking about and really spoke out against evil. After all, what sort of committed congregation does not have a service of exorcism for families where somebody votes Liberal?